motion

Thinking of what happened four years ago when i was in sec 3 makes me wonder. Things changed, we changed. That time, falling for you, the one i considered as one of my closer friend was a mistake, perhaps. We played a game which we both lost; did we not, Andrew ?

Last year, a few months ago in fact, i played the game again. This time, the rules have changed. Made more bitter i guess. I won, yet i lost. No victory has ever tasted as painful as that did.

Last night, i almost agreed to play that game with another guy but convinced myself not to before we started. The cards were yet to be laid, yet i won. I dont like being a cynic but i'm afraid. I dont like the feeling of being as shattered as i felt back then. Besides, ironically, with Joey no longer as close by, i dont think i can survive another round if i lost.

I feel selfish. And as sorry as i am for who i am now, i wont look back.

Benji, guess i changed a lot didnt i ? Yet i wont turn back and wish for the braver and stronger me from 4 years ago.

Because God gave me a reason for this pain, this change;
the clock hand never moves back, only forward, always.